Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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