Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
