your room smells of hookers.
And success
im drinking this country out of the recession.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
