Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
