and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
