she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
