Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
