Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
