Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
