he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
