I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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