Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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