Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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