he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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