We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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