Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
