Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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