She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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