I smell stomach acid.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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