i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
