Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
