JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Actions speak louder than pants.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
