LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
