You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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