Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
