By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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