she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
