You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
