i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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