so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
