Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
