so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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