Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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