i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
