this boner is exhausting
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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