its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
