he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
