sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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