is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
