So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
