Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
