my room smells like sperm. sweet.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
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No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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