i just had sex bonerless
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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