oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
