You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
