I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
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I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
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SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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