I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
