im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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