if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
