We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you traded sex for a burrito?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
