Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
