I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
