that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
