i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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