My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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