I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
