He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
