3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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