The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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